Being Quiet in a Noisy World

As an adult, I’m on the quiet side. 

As a child, you couldn’t shut me up.

Maybe when I’m old I’ll find a nice middle ground.

I used to feel like I was the only quiet, shy person alive in a world full of big, loud talkers. I wonder if all shy people feel that way. Being quiet in a noisy world makes one feel a little off.

I think there are a lot of shy, quiet people. We may even outnumber those noisy extroverts. Since the extroverts talk, and talk loud, and talk often, they are the ones we notice. It’s only natural to assume that they encompass the majority since they are the people we notice. 

Really. If you go into your favorite coffeeshop and there’s a quiet guy sitting in the corner sipping his joe and paying no attention to anyone, and there’s a woman with a voice loud enough to knock down elephants talking about how mad she is that her best friend forgot her birthday, which one do you notice?

I was in the San Antonio airport, surrounded by quiet people reading, texting, eating, and staring out the window. There must have been dozens of them and I sat among them for almost two hours. But the fellow I remember most was the guy that spent less than a minute talking on the phone to his buddy about how wasted he was planning to get at the bachelor party he was going to in New Orleans. Everybody in that airport remembers him. He was so loud and obnoxious and crude that he etched himself into my brain. He is now a part of my life forever. All the other people in the airport? I forgot them the moment I stopped looking at them.

It made me wonder if it’s better to be remembered as a noisy douchebag or forgotten because of being quiet.

Personally, I like the quiet option. 

Blessing or Curse?

Being quiet in a noisy world is sort of a mixed bag. I don’t attract any unwanted attention to myself, but then again it is hard to attract wanted attention to myself. 

I don’t get a lot of confrontation, but I’m often the scapegoat for idiots that are looking for someone to blame for their own mistakes.

I stay out of the nasty fights that go down between friends and family, but I wind up being the middleman that the arguing parties want to confide in.

There are a lot of drawbacks to being shy and quiet, but I think it’s time to focus on the positive for a while. There’s a lot of great things about being quiet!

Listening

We get to hear what people say. A lot of conversationalists listen just enough to hear something that will remind them of something else to say. Shy people tend to listen in order to ask questions that keep the other person talking. It’s not uncommon for me to give a random stranger a nod as I pass them in the grocery store and, a half hour later, have their life story rattling around in my head.

Gotcha!

There’s some fun to be had in being a quiet person. For one thing, people often underestimate you. They will assume that you are stupid and have no sense of humor. Toss out an occasional joke and watch their mouth drop open in surprise. Or say something so intelligent that it melts their face. That’s great fun.

We Are Fun To Talk To

We’ve all been in one of those conversations where someone gets on their big, ugly, opinionated high horse and goes off on anyone and everyone that has a different viewpoint. It’s not fun. Well, you never have to worry about that when you’re talking to a shy person. We rarely give voice to controversial opinions or initiate arguments. We make terrific listeners. The only time you have to worry about us is if you insult our loved ones–then we come at you like Jack Nicholson.

The world is loud. People are loud. There is noise noise noise everywhere you go. 

Be brave.

Be thoughtful.

For the love of god, be quiet.

*****

Thanks to Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay for the images.